Morning walk scene in the narrow lanes near my home in new South Kolkata (the city keeps expanding every which way). “That’s a nice pattern. Khub sundor hoyechhe (it’s turned out very well)!” A tall and lean aged man walking ahead of me comments about a flowery dress worn by a woman walking past. The woman, almost half the man’s height and age, is startled a bit and stumbles a little, laughs lightly, says a shy thank you, and walks on, sticking close to a wall at the edge of the lane, almost ready to dissolve into it. The man, wearing a pair of slept-in kurta and pyjama, unwashed shopping bag in hand, walks on, keeping to the centre of the lane – where he’s entitled to be?
The man and the woman may be friends, relatives or neighbours, I don’t know. As I continue my sojourn, the thought crosses my mind – it’s good to have people talking freely across generations and other social classifications. But could the woman have commented on the man’s clothes as freely as he commented on hers? Quite unlikely, probably because of the age difference and the expected gender roles that we’re supposed to perform. A part of me is also hoping though that she didn’t comment because she was able to exercise the choice of not commenting.
The next morning, as I leave home for a walk, I bump into a neighbour returning from an overnight devotional event, which takes place frequently somewhere on the north-eastern edges of the city. She is a regular at these events, leaves home every time at 2 am by an app cab, and returns the next morning around 8 am. Usually, she goes alone; at other times with friends or her husband. I genuflect mentally at her agency (not so much for the devotional / religious motivation though), glad that somebody is giving two hoots to the governmental and patriarchal (they’re the same, really) obsession with protecting women by locking them up at home after sundown.
* * *
Both these scenes occur a few days after I attend a night rally to protest the recent, yet another rape-murder-coverup-corruption tragedy in my city Kolkata. The sheer number of people on the streets, representation of all genders and ages, energy and pent-up anger on display, cries for justice – it is all remarkable. As it should be perhaps for a public disgusted with the ineptitude and opaqueness of government (and many private / non-government) institutions and systems, and this includes the agencies tasked with ensuring the security of life, limb and dignity.
Observing the menfolk at the rally, some vociferously leading the slogan-shouting, others joining in from time to time, or just looking on, I wonder what’s going on in their minds deep down. Surely, they’ve been moved enough by the heartrending violence involved in the rape and murder to be present at the rally. If they’re seeking justice through punishment for the wrongdoer(s), or if they’re looking for a systemic change in the law, order and justice systems in Kolkata, West Bengal or India, good for them. But are they also self-reflecting? About their own attitudes and behaviours towards women, transgender and queer people, and other men too? Can they find anything unjust within them that needs to change as well? Are they able to think of a connection between their attitudes, the collective social mind, and the way our institutions function or don’t function? Is everyone present at the rally exploring the possibility of a connection between the personal and the social?
Gender-based violence or even corruption doesn’t just happen out there, out of the blue, something to be protested against, followed by returning home to business as usual. Isn’t the fount of these ills in our individual minds, families and communities? Don’t we make the world unsafe for all of us with the daily compromises we make by overlooking microaggressions and unethical actions at home, the workplace, or in public spaces? Don’t we encourage distrust and disillusionment among the marginalized sections when equally heinous violence against them goes unnoticed by larger society?
It’s spectacular how the current protests have drawn junior and senior doctors, housing societies, football teams, and diverse other social groupings globally along with the usual protesters – students, women’s groups, queer communities, and others disadvantaged (who otherwise are often accused of needlessly slowing down our lives). This is unprecedented citizen mobilization in the city in recent times. How effective is it going to be? Time will tell and it may depend on the kind of pressure the protesters are able to generate on those who should be accountable in the government.
Parallel to the protests, I hope there are cross-connections and conversations between the different groupings, because that in itself may heal some of the social conflicts or wounds. The protests may be like a river flowing towards a specific goal, but the river can nourish friendships along the way too. Such cross-connections can also lead to self-reflection, self-transformation and greater conviction in what and who one is protesting against, why, and how. Without such an internal churning, the spectacular may remain just a spectacle.
About the main photo: A scene from a pre-Independence Day rally near the Ruby Hospital crossing in South Kolkata to protest the rape and murder of a trainee doctor at R. G. Kar Medical College & Hospital on August 9, 2024. Photo credit: Pawan Dhall
